Saturday, November 19, 2005
This is my family. I wanted to introduce my children. I think I am the only mother ever to think her children are weird. Adorable, but definately weird. I blame myself. I love them to bits.
My oldest is James, who is 9. Christopher is 6 and Baby Matthew only got to see 3 1/2 months on the earth, but they were amazing ones.
My children say the funniest things. I thought I would take a moment to jot down some of my favorite "greatest moments" from each of them.
CHRISTOPHER. Also known as "Pookey" and "Christophee"
When ever my boys ask me to tell them a story I always start the same way..."Once, there was a little Christopher, and he had Momma who loved him". So when Christopher was almost 4 he wanted to say the dinnertime prayer by himself. This is what it was. "Once, there was a little Heavenly Father....what's next?"
I put on my fur-trimmed coat to take Christopher to a Halloween party. I wasn't dressed up as anything and when Christopher saw me he said, "Momma...are you going as a Popular Girl????"
Momma? Can I have the light on? I have Zombies on my mind.
ME:Christopher, do you want relish on your hotdog? Christopher (rolling his eyes and looking meaningfully at James): Mom...Relish is our arch nemisis! ME: Christopher, you aren't allowed to talk to your brother anymore.
Christopher also has this knack for saying very startling things WHILE I AM DRIVING. I have darn near gotten into several accidents because they come out of nowhere! Things like: Why aren't you going to get me another baby? Why did Matthew die? Is Matthew a zombie? Can we dig Matthew up so I can visit him (on explanation that he definately could NOT, he forcefully wanted to know why and wouldn't let it drop when I said JUST BECAUSE. Then James said, Don't worry, Christopher...we have our shovels is the shed! DUDE!!!!) And my favorite: What's sex??? AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
An overheard conversation between Christopher and James while they were watching cartoons:
CHRISTOPHER: I just don't get it. How can a squirell drive a whole bus?! It doesn't make sense!
JAMES: Christopher, you HAVE to use your imagination more...jeeze!
And now for JAMES also known as "Son" and "Festivus" Current future occupation:Super secret CIA Spy Operative
I made this costume in 1/2 hour. He needed one for a Halloween party I knew nothing about and his costume was in Lewiston. All I had was this Santa hat. So I made him go as an elf. He later took of the hat and mistletoe and decided he was Link from Zelda. He kept ripping the bells off his tunic (pillowcase) and used them as "bombs". sigh.
James thinks being weird is a compliment. I would like to think this is something I taught him, because it is TRUE!.
"Mom, embrace my weirdness"
ME:Son, I bought you an alarm clock
JAMES: NO! They are the source of all evil!"
On reluctance to brush his teeth: ME: If you have bad hygenie you will never get a great wife. JAMES: I have that figured out. I'll brush my teeth and get a great wife and then I can slack off!
I came home to find James, 3 and Christopher, 1, sitting face to face in my laundry basket. they had capes and crowns on. :JAMES: Momma, I am the king, and this is my wife, Christopher, the queen! (To Christopher)Are you okay sweetheart? Do you need me to get you anything??
"Smokey the Bear is the arch nemisis of Frosty the snowman"
James also has a knack for saying astounding things while saying the dinnertime prayer. I have bitten my cheek on more than one occasion. Here are 2 recent ones:
"And please bless the fall festival tomorrow that Satan will have no power to dwell there"
"Please soften the heart of my momma so that she will let me go see Harry Potter 4"
I love my boys. They will be great men.