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Loralee's Looney Tunes Reviews

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Loralee Choate

Welcome to my review site I do my own reviews and compensated reviews and you will NEVER be confused which is which.

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Monday, June 12, 2006

Hey, all.

Ever had one of those weeks?

This was one.

Long hours at work
Zac's birthday party (He's a whopping 24 now. I am also convinced that he is "Guido" in the movie, "Cars". Don't ask me why.)
Helping with a garage sale to help mothers without borders
Being bummed about Matthew's birthday
Blogger sucking for the one day I tried to post
Family CRAP
A marathon of "The Closer" on TNT

All of the above conspired against blogging, so I didn't...forgive me!

Also...I am spending my freetime today catching up on reading n'stuff, but I don't know how much I'll be able to comment only because I am so behind on everything. Serves me right for not turning my computer on for 5 days.

Since I don't want to just whine about my piles of reading and stuff:

Here is just a tiny slice of HINDSIGHT hilarity I deal with: I am usually nice and very patient with my clients. Especially if they are old. HOWEVER. There are times when after TWENTY plus phone calls from one old woman who just.doesn't.comprehend, you just run out of patience.

ME:(At work).
HETTIE:Very ancient and confused old lady with a very think southern accent.

ME: "Hello, blahblahblah.com. How may I help you?"
HETTIE:"Is this Jackie Turhune from somewherethefreakin Alabama?"
"No, ma'am. This is "blahblahblah.com".
"I need to speak to Jackie"
"There is no one named Jackie here, Ma'am"
"Oh. This isn't 1-xxx-xxx-2255?"
"No, Ma'am. This is 1-xxx-xxx-2555"
"Oh. Okay."



"Hello, blahblahblah.com. How may I help you?"
"Is this Jackie?"
"No Ma'am. This is blahblahlbah.com."
"I need to speak to Jackie Turhune from somewherethefreakin Alabama"
"Ma'am. You are dialing the wrong number. You need to dial 2255 and you are misdialing 2555."
"Jackie isn't there?"
"No, Ma'am. This is an online gardening center. I am an order desk"
"Do you know Jackie?"
"No, Ma'am. I don't. I am in Utah and Jackie is in somwherethefreakin Alabama."
"You know where Jackie lives?"
"Yes, Ma'am. You've told me the other 10 times you've called. You are dialing one digit wrong."
"Oh, Okay."

(Repeat this type of call about 5 more times, each time trying to explain why she is getting an order desk instead of Jackie)


"Hello, blahblahblah.com. How may I help you?"
"Is this Jackie?"
"Well, I only have one hand. They cut the other one off"

(Long pause. The drama queen in me wanted to know why the freak they would cut off a hand, but there was no way I could spend more time with this woman on the phone)

"I am very sorry about that ma'am. Maybe you will have to wait to talk to Jackie until someone can dial the phone for you."
"Are you sure Jackie Turhune isn't there?"
"Yes. I.am.very.sure."
"Could you dial that number for me?"
"Ma'am. I can't"
"Why on earth not?"
"Well, I am not an operator for the telephone company. I am also in Utah and you are in Buttfreakingbayou, Lousiana. I would have to drive an hour to get to the Salt Lake City airport, fly to Lousiana, land in Shreveport, take two cabs a bus and most likely a riverboat to find your house, then dial the phone."
"Oh. Okay."

(Repeat a variation of THIS call about 5 m0re times. I am not exaggerating. AT ALL. Ask Mary Ellen. She was there.)


ME: HELLO! This is absolutely NOT JACKIE TURHUNE from somewherethefreakin Alabama. This is LORALEE from blahblahblah.com.
"Is this Jackie?"
"NO! This is NOT JACKIE!"
"Could you give Jackie a message for me?"
"Ma'am I am not answering the phone for you anymore. Goodbye".


"Is this Jackie?"
"Why, YES! It IS! This is Jackie Turhune from Somewherethefreakin Alabama. If this is Hettie from Buttfreakinbayou, Lousiana, please rip up my number and never, EVER call me again. Thank you."



  • At 12:43 PM , Blogger Pink Cupcake said...

    Oh. My. Word. You have FAR more patience than I would have had! :)

  • At 1:01 PM , Blogger Karen said...

    I'm so sad I missed Zac's party! I was however passed out until 9 that night so I don't suspose I would've been much fun. As for Hettie... not only had she lost a limb but the ability to listen seems to have been lost too. Very sad!

  • At 1:44 PM , Anonymous Charli said...

    Hee- I get this all the time AT HOME! These Spanish speaking people kept calling me over and over all confused sounding and asking for Marcus. In Texas, there are a LOT of Spanish speaking (mainly Mexicans). I kept telling them this is the Stouts,only Charli, Jeremy, and Hali live here- that xxx-xxx-xxxx is OUR phone number, has been for a few months now, and they are either dialing the wrong number or that person no longer has this phone number- its mine now. So finally I had to resort to my broken Spanish slang, which I daresay includes a few curse words. They got the point.

  • At 3:06 PM , Blogger Sharon said...

    That was hilarious!!! I think when they cut off that lady's hand they also did a lobotomy. Either that, or she is in the advanced stages of dementia....
    And you DO have a whole lot of patience!

  • At 3:53 PM , Blogger Froyd said...

    now imagine having 40 of those oldsters up in hospital beds on the 3 floors above you, all calling the switchboard and who are confused because they can't get an outside line, and they're looking for so and so, and plays out exactly like your conversation.

    that's why i'm quitting the hospital. I don't envy you.

  • At 4:49 PM , Anonymous Cassandra said...

    Reminds me of conversations I have with my mother-in-law.
    You are up for saint-hood!

  • At 4:53 PM , Blogger Zac said...

    Lo, that is so freaking funny! I can't even tell you how hard it made me laugh. I have a storie, about my family. My parents had the same phone number for 22 years but sometime a year ago an elderly man started calling our house asking for the robinsons. Well we weren't them and we would try and explaine that we weren't but he would get mean and start yelling obcenities, but he just couldn't get our number out of his head so we blocked the number but he would just find a new phone to call out on. this went on for about 6 times a day for 4 months before they changed our number. It was quite the experience.

  • At 6:37 PM , Blogger Sue said...

    Okay, I was sitting here eating Skittles and when I got to the part about, "They cut off my hand" they ALL came flying back out. It was kinda pretty. A slobbery little rainbow all over my computer desk. Thank you for making my freakin' day. My job sounds easy compared to yours.

  • At 7:00 PM , Blogger mighty mouse said...

    lol...Funny, but that poor woman! She probably had Alzheimer's or something. Ah, to be old and senile...Although, I honestly don't know how you kept up with it. I would have ripped the phone cord out after the second or third call.

  • At 9:47 PM , Blogger Freeman76 said...

    That's too funny.

    The guy that had my current phone number before me is wanted by the police. I've gotten calls from detectives asking for him.

    I've been busy at work and I just bought an hdtv. I haven't posted in 2 weeks. I got a serious case of the Blogger Blues. I've been in TV research, purchase and serious couch potatoe mode. I hope to post something tomorrow night.

  • At 12:20 AM , Anonymous Brian said...

    Hey! Maybe Hettie could be signed up for my hospice. It doesn't seem to matter to her that we're in Utah rather than Alabama, and it would make Debra happy to add to our census so she'd not have to worry as much... Could you call Hettie for me? Maybe Jackie, too...sort of a two-for-one deal... Thanksevahsomuch, ducks!

  • At 9:49 AM , Blogger Erin said...

    Loralee! Glad to see you're still around... I was worried that maybe you had given up the blogging life and I had lost your funny stories to brighten my day forever! And no one (except Alex!) has been comment-whoring on my blog. It's been a sad, sad week!

    To add to the phone number stories: last year when I lived on my own here in London, my phone number had clearly been previously owned by someone who skipped out on a bunch of bills. I would get companies, like Visa, etc, calling all the time and the conversations would go like this:
    "Are you SURE that you are Mrs. Suchandsuch?"
    "And you don't live at 123 whatever st?"
    "No, that isn't my address"
    "And your phone number is [my phone number]?"
    "Yes, but I've only had it since August"
    "Oh, ok... sorry to bother you"

    Argh... and that happened the whole year I lived there...

  • At 9:54 AM , Blogger Rowan said...

    my old unlisted # had been recycled and i had a lot of people with the last name Green calling angry that we were on the smith's phone. it took more than 2 years of their daily calls 2 get them 2 at last stop.

    Your final response was absolutely freaking hilarious! I wish I had your courage.

  • At 2:18 PM , Blogger Seredne said...

    ahhh, blogger did suck for not being accessible!

    I like your template... I'm always fantasizing about a new one without actually doing much about it.

    p.s. your job sounds like oodles of fun!

  • At 4:59 PM , Blogger Lina said...

    God, I would have found her and chinned her.
    Had many a customer do this.


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