ACK! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Two MILLISECONDS after hitting the "Publish" button to my last post, there was a CRACK! Of thunder, the front door flew open from gale force winds and massive hail came pouring down ALL AT ONCE!

I've never seen anything like it...calm to hell and damnation in a flash.

It's my fault! I'm sorry I went to coffee!! I'm sorry I sort of mocked the Last Supper!!!

There is nothing like a little well-timed weather furry to confirm your belief you are less than stellar in the religion category.

Ya, know...when it comes to guilt, I think Mormons are right up there with Catholics.

I'm going to hide under my covers...

Coffee (With "G")...

I haven't seen Bridgy in forever, so we went to coffee at a new little shop. DIVINE. It is tucked into this adorable Victorian house and has such a nice, relaxed atmosphere and YUMMY cranberry-almond scones.

I am renowned for my ability to drink large amounts of liquid, but even I was a little overwhelmed by the "Large". It was a bit like the opening scene from 'So, I Married An Axe Murderer'...."Excuse me? I believe I ordered the large Cuppaccino..."



We talked and talked-it was so nice. Then we dropped by her house for a bit. She and Max found a picture I COVET at a garage sale a million years ago. It is a rendering of a black 'Last Supper' on black velvet! The title is "Black 'Sup, G"...
Could you just DIE? That $5 dollar investment is going to be GOLD, I tell you!

What A Doll!

Yet another has fallen victim to the infamous "Doll Site"!

Introducing, "Little Amy"...PERFECT!

Shirts...

Monday, February 27, 2006

I love the shirt I bought today!
I am the redhead misfit doll. I bought Chelle one the had the "Abominal Snowman" for those who remember the famous post about how some of my friends and family weirdly resemble the cast of "Rudolph, the Rednose Reindeer".

P.S. Sorry about the boobs

Our Family Is Weird.

Family Night!

We grilled (steaks, baked yams, mashed taters salad, bread and lemonade. Chocolate Creme Brulee for dessert)

Karen was our lovely guest (She and I are watching the remaining episodes of 'Hyperdrive' afterward!! YEA!) we had fun.

Jon and the kids put together a Hover Craft Kit that James earned. I wasn't involved-it would have ended up expoding. It would have happened. Trust me.

Christopher picked the song. He chose his favorite Primary tune (Thank goodness Karen was there to show us the actions. Jonathan rufused to do them. Which turned out to be a good choice as you can see that clearly, we all look retarded.)

As is usual in our family, things got out of control. Fast.
James was in charge of the scipture. He wanted to read the ENTIRE story of "JOE". After a rather heated insistance that it was indeed Joe and not Job, I was about to turn the task over to Jonathan when James yelled out "Wait! Read my favorite, favorite one! Abraham...verse one...UH...chapter 2!"

Jonathan raised his eyebrow and said, "Yes. Fine choice, son." He was even able to keep a straight face when he read it-

"Now the Lord God caused the famine to wax sore in the land of Ur, insomuch that Haran, my brother, died: but Terah, my father, yet lived in the land of Ur, of the Chaldees."

I'm tired.

Busy Bee

This is an entry about what I mean by I am either amazing or I suck.

I am in amazing mode.

I've kept my house in amazing order for awhile now-organized (a never-ending battle), thrown out tons of stuff, deep cleaned, found a yoga class, up-to-date on all school stuff, church is in check, music learned, finances in control, shopping accomplished, 3 great meals on time daily, am on good terms with all friends and family...ect. ect. ect.

In other words, I am currently how Chelle is on a regular basis! ;)

My favorite thing on the huge to-do list today is the completion of my shower! When I get really bad mentally, I am afraid of my shower. Weird, I know.

I shower as quickly as possible and get out. Part of this is because we have lame (translation-NONE) water pressure.

We also live in an old house which means we have an old tub.

I can't do much about that, BUT...I CAN get new shower accessories because the old curtain and fabric liner were about 5 years old and getting gross.

New rod, hooks that will make bleaching them on regular basis easier, liner and curtain that works with my sage bathroom.

I read a post by Jes about Jack Kerouac and the hippie, free transient style of the 60's and realized I am past the possibilities of my 20's and realized it must be rather boring reading about bleaching your shower curtains. Sometimes the way my life evolved is a bit of a shock, but I really love what I do (when I can do it). Being a mom and wife is just fine for now.

I feel good.

Wonder how long it will last?!

To My Husband

Thank you for making me cinnamon French Toast yesterday.

Thank you for getting up, dressed and inspiring me to come to church with you. We haven't been together in 2 years and it was nice.

Thanks for not getting too annoyed with me blogging about YOU.

Thanks for helping so much with the house and the boys.

Thanks for quitting your game without one single reminder. I will try to be more understanding about why you enjoy online D&D (Or any form of it, for that matter!)

Thank you for coming back and mostly-understanding me and my poor mind.

Thanks for last night. I think you put my back back in! ;)

The Sometimes Suck of Singing

I remember why I often have difficulty working in community music groups. The pace is as slow as freaking COLD TAR. Rehearsal for "The Messiah" was annoying tonight and you are all going to suffer because of it.

Talk, talk, talk, talk..."Feel the music...this is how you breathe..." blah, blah, BLAH! 1.5 of our 2 measly hours wasted.

I'm sorry, but we do 2 pieces a week and are slated to rehearse them exactly once before we perform. "The Messiah" isn't exactly an easy piece. This is coming from someone who has performed it. A lot. If you don't know how to breathe or sing complicated music correctly at this point, it isn't going to happen by April 7th. ARG.

This is all complicated that I was up all night once again contemplating how much I suck.

Thanks, I feel better.

It did help that Jonathan and I had a healing talk about my rough night and a lovely day together. Plus, after rehearsing I went to Brian Joy's with Karen and learned how to play this very addicting domino game called "Mexican Train".

Nothing witty in this post, I'm afraid-just venting some suck out of my system.

Where Have I Been?

Sunday, February 26, 2006

I have never seen this film before. LOVED it. It's classic 80's stupid-fun.










Plus...I just want Harold Ramis to make me one of these.

It's an EM-50 Urban Assault Vehicle-complete with flame thrower and missles that are guided and launched by an Atari 500 system.

Sweet.

Wilbur

This is Wilbur, my cat. She (Yes, I knew she was a 'she' when I named her Wilbur. Don't ask for an explanation. It just fit) seems to think that she OWNS my computer chair. It is the only chair in my little living room and it is MINE.

SHE is not cooperating. There is only one chair and I am not sharing. Plus, she gets cat fur all over it. I have like, four of those pet hair sticky rollers sitting on my desk. She lives to sit on my seat!

I get up to fix dinner, come back-she's there.

I leave to run errands, same thing.

She thinks me having to go pee is a good excuse to practice Universal Domination by playing a game of "Capture Mom's Chair".

I have explained my position.

Repeatedly.

I DRAW THE LINE! Do you hear me, Wilbur?! I mean it! DRASTIC action is going to be taken and it will NOT be pretty!!!!!

I am a wuss.

Sigh.

Galactic Evening With Karen

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Karen and I hung out this evening. I made a lovely dinner of fetticcinni alfredo with torn up rotiserri chicken and broccoli. YUM.

My Geeky Husband (Who loves all things Sci-Fi) found the most amusing show since Red Dwarf and we watched it. HYPERDRIVE!!!! It is only on BBC, so I hope you know how to download...if not, I am sad for you.

Here is a peek into the adventures of HMS Camden Loch- who's mission is Protecting Britain's Interests in the Galaxy.

The star is the useless roommate in Sean of the Dead and he rocks.

My favorite scene is where he resets all the ship's systems to default and has to go through several user agreements and terms of use policies before he is allowed to fire his weapon in combat. Upon completion of the 200 steps, the gun says, "Go get 'em, soldier." HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA.


I also took a "Which Star Trek Character and Serenity Character are you?" set of quizzes.

Your results:
You are Chekov

Chekov 75% Deanna Troi 75% Uhura 65% Will Riker 50% Beverly Crusher 50% Leonard McCoy (Bones) 50% James T. Kirk (Captain) 45% Geordi LaForge 40% An Expendable Character (Redshirt) 35% Worf 30% Jean-Luc Picard 30% Data 20% Mr. Scott 20% Spock 17% Mr. Sulu 0% Your results: You are Wash (Ship Pilot) You are a pilot with a good if not silly sense of humor. You take pride in your collection of toys. You love your significant other. Wash (Ship Pilot) 75% Kaylee Frye (Ship Mechanic) 65% Alliance 60% Inara Serra (Companion) 55% Zoe Washburne (Second-in-command) 50% Derrial Book (Shepherd) 45% Jayne Cobb (Mercenary) 40% Malcolm Reynolds (Captain) 40% A Reaver (Cannibal) 35% River (Stowaway) 30% Dr. Simon Tam (Ship Medic) 25%

I am not really sure why the hell I ended up as either of these characters, but it's just fine with me...I was convinced I'd either end up as River (The completely crazy one) or James T. Kirk (Narcissitic man-whore).

Claude

This is Claude.

I never really "Got" beenie babies. My sister loved them and she had exactly one that I coveted. Claude.

There is just something about his beady, little eyes that is compelling. Everytime my sisters would force me to go on a beenie baby buy I would look for Claude. I said it was the only one I would ever own.

I looked for a Claude for years and never found one.

Shortly after meeting my friend, Karen, I went to her house and lo and behold! There was Claude. I mentioned my story and shortly after she gave him to me!

What a friend!

It has been a few years, but he has always had his home right on top of my computer. One day I'll figure out why I think this bald little crustation is so compelling. Maybe it will remain one of those "Only Loralee" mysteries of life.

Way too fun!

Friday, February 24, 2006

http://elouai.com/doll-makers/candybar-doll-maker.php
Thanks to Jes! Make yourself into a doll. 100's of options. This is mine...
I love her...She's perfect! She would be wearing 4 stretchy silver braclets and some black hair elastics on her right wrist, but this is pretty darn close! :)

Secession of Suck, Opera Cows and Contraband

Sometimes being so completely lazy and wretched is too much, even for me.

In my usual bi-polar manner, I got out of my sick/I suck bed and became superwoman!

Everything is spic-and-span, I had a great conversation with my lovely friend, Chelle (We have decided to take a yoga class. I'm going to actually try back pain prevention instead of throwing globs of drugs at it after there is a serious problem. FYI...you can always tell when I am on any form of medication by my typing. I bring this up because Jon thinks I should correct the massive amounts of typos in my last few posts. I thought given the amount of painkiller's I've been on, they've been swell. I do the same thing on Ambian except I also get sappy...and I am a notorious Ambian emailer. Think of it as "Drink & Dial" and you have the idea. If you have the misfortune of ever receiving one, just ignore them. I am also notorious for the world's longest use of praethesized tangents...)

Since I have been out of commission (though a really good mom meanwhile, believe it or not) I wanted to go out with my family. We saw decided to see "Doogel". The whole movie is a Lord of the Rings spoof. Jon Stewart is this evil spring-thing who is only made that way so they could say "One spring to rule them all". Bizarre.

Jon compared me to the ear-splitting Opera-singing Cow that saves them all by fracturing ice. There was no Hoity-Toity-God-Like-Smarty-Pants character I could compare him to, so I was screwed.

But I digress...

Before the flim we had a nice dinner and then we went to "The Gas Station" where I spend half my life and money (Jonathan says he is going to start calling me "Jay" because there is no way in hell I qualify as "Silent Bob".). We proceeded to teach Christophee the devious art of sneaking food into movies (Reason 1534 subsection C of Why Loralee Is Going To Hell).




Jonathan is going to Hell because he purchased chocolate flavored licorice. He needs no other reason.

Banter

Thursday, February 23, 2006

Jonathan and I spent a relaxing evening watching the Ladie's Long Figure skating competition. This was after I sucsessfully wrestled (and kept away) the remote control.

Jon: "Yah. I guess I could watch that Finland girl again. She was hot."
Me: "You're a sowcow."
Jon: "It's better than being a big lutz."
Me: "Alright. That was wittier. I concede. You suck, though"
Jon: "And very well too. Oooh...There's Finland!"
Make that a triple sowcow...

Whine

Monday, February 20, 2006

Happy Brithday to Susie


My back is not really getting any better despite chiropractic care a pain stuff. I think I may be moving too much on it, so I am going to lay still on my back. arg. I'll post what I can remeber about my adventure to SLC for dinner with my johnathan and my inlaws and seeing"The King Singers" on Back pills. I do remember "The Scultpture" Cehlle, amazing music, 'The Gift fto be Simple".
What a treat! :)

I AM DONE

Saturday, February 18, 2006

It's In the Blood

Thursday, February 16, 2006

I have always written in a journal. Sometimes I have written more, some less, but my love of journaling has never gone away. That is why I love blogging so much. I do it for me more than anyone else.

I am so happy. It looks like my son's are following in my footsteps. James always had a journal here or there that he writes in. He even illustrates them...too cute

James, Jordan and at their desk with "The Test"

It's "Party Time!!!! I'm so excited!! Right now we're having a test but Oh! Me Maty, Jordan finished the test on time and were were the first ones finished. I was NEVER the first one to finish!! My brother is always annoying me about pie. I always watch tv (Meaning his brother hogs the game cube controller and he is forced to watch). My mom and dad are nice. Really nice.

Awwweeee....This is Christopher's first journal. He wanted one last year at the bookfair, but we told him he was too young. Well it is book fair time again and we told him he could purchase one.

He narrowed it down to two. A Harry Potter journal that was quite thin or a regular sized journal. He looked back and forth and said, "I'm going to choose the thicker journal. I'm going to have a big life."

The Suck of Back Pain

I have the world's most fUBAR'd back (Next to Trent). Besides a degenerative disk in my lower back I have 4(?) herniations from two significant car accidents.

If that weren't enough, I was also trampled by a horse in High School.
ADAM: I know how to saddle a horse!
ME: Really? Ok.


Between physical injury and being looney (See photo below)
I am pretty much in pain all the time.





You learn to live with it, but there are 3-4 times a year where I am just in agony. Now would be one of those periods.

I can't stand or sit too long right now. It does feels a bit better today, but I pushed it by cleaning my house a lot. It feels good to be able to do anything though...Last night I made my little friend Karen her favorite Chicken dish of mine (Chicken Lyonaise) and there was enough for her to pack for lunch and to give to Chelle to eat today(She has a loaded schedule)

I guess rampant *AHEM*when I got home didn't help my back much either. Should have read the manual...I couldn't help it. Jonathan just looked completely hot folding laundry.

Hopefully, I can post more later on today, but I have to go lay back down.

BFF!

Buffets, Bob the Genius, Hilter, New psychosis, and PRESENTS

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

First let me start by stating that for someone who HATES buffets, I don't seem to do a very good job of avoiding them lately. Bob took me to lunch at....GOLDEN CORRAL. Sigh. They DO have very good rolls.

Oh, yea....I need to clarify that "academics at BYU were not all party planning classes" and that he is a genius. HE IS. You can't be city editor for a major paper and NOT be. Is that satisfactory Bob? I am still telling them about the rationed (To kill and eat) pidgin you named "Hitler" in WWII, though.

To fight the scary and depressing piece of suckasuckasuckasuckaSUCK that was my additional diagnosis of Dr. Charlat, today, I am choosing to talk about what my sweet boy and I got eachother for Valentines Day instead.

I got him an 1 1/2 hr massage with a therapist to Rocks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Plus, we are going to try and take my inlaws to see "The King's Singers" in SLC if we can. I LOVE them. Amazing musicians and hilarious.
He got me a leather coat and jewelry (Real) I am amazed at how perfectly the pearls in the bracelet match. I guess it helps to have a gemeologist as a father in law. It is beautiful

I Feel Like An Ass

I actually got a "My Space" profile and..actually, I am unable to even explain the rest. I feel to freakin' stupid.

Off to the Chiropractor to try and heal some intense back pain and then to my Psychiatrist in Ogden.

Maybe I'll tell him.

Parent Teacher Conference

20 Secret Thoughts and Deeds

1. I am proud of my neck. I think it is pretty.
2. I have moments where I want the new PO president to fail. Terrible, isn't it?
3. My sister's chewing and swallowing drive me crazy.
4. I love the wrinkles around Jonathan's eyes.
5. I am afraid of having a girl. I don't think she would be as pretty as Gracie, Natalie or Emily.
6. Sex is often a whole lot more enjoyable in my head.
7. I often think that I have an attachment disorder.
8. People tell me I have a lot of good things to offer, but I think that the bad things I have done negate them.
9. I try and be more liberal than I think I really am.
10. I am an honest liar. You would have to be around me to understand that one. Too complicated even for ME.
11. Despite #10 and that I have done some really manipulative dishonest things, I usually believe people. You would think it would make me suspicious, but it usually doesn't occur to me that other people are anything but honest. Weird.
12. I love to snoop.
13. My biggest fear is rejection.
14. I keyed my principal's car in high school
15. I cannot keep a secret (stretch your imagination on this one, I know)
16. The girl that replaced me in the music department is now at the MET. I have wished permanent laryngitis on her a few times out of sheer envy.
17. I take almost everything personally and get my feelings hurt very easily. Sometimes people know it. Most the time they don't.
18. Even though I haven't weighed 280 in 11 years, I only stopped thinking everyone everyone watching me cross the street was thinking how fat I was a couple of years ago
19. The novelty of grocery shopping for myself still hasn't worn off.
20. This is what I think everyone is thinking about me all the time.

This is just a small list. I know that you were all dying to know this because you think about me all the time and live to check this blog.

Crap! Forgot one.

21. I think that I am way more important than I actually am.

I Miss Mail...

Monday, February 13, 2006

I got an honest-to-goodness Valentine IN THE MAIL today!

It made me so happy. I threw my back out earlier today and have been a bit grumpy. It cheered me up to get any kind of personal correspondence in the mail. All that I seem to get anymore are bills and my husband's 400 science and geek magazines.

Oh, and we cannot forget my annual Christmas gift from Brian Joy, Smithsonian Magazine.

My boys were very interested and as usual had quite a bit to say.

James:"I guess Valentines are good at fixing everything!"

Christopher: "So are chocolate doughnuts."

James: "Well...YAH...But did you know that they give you high cholesterol?"

And on that note I get to go to Parent Teacher Conferences...I'll letcha know how James' teacher enjoyed HER Valentine from him...sigh.

AWESOMETOWN

I love these guys.

Opening credits/roll call
http://www.youtube.com/w/Awesometown-Intro?v=RE7F2yRipvY&search=awesometown

Michelle would be Akiva (You are way better looking, Chelle-but you are the 'brains')
I would be Andy...it's fairly self explanatory
Karen would be Jorma...So cute yet unexpected and takes you by suprise!!!!! (You wouldn't swear, though!)

Ha ha ha.

P.S. Brian Joy is the dancing cop! I would have said the roll-call guy, but I know how you feel about cowboys!

It's Not Easy Being "Pink" or a "Virgin"

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Another rehearsal for "The Messiah".
We rehearse at the Dansante building, which is the home of the opera company.
I have spent hundreds and hundereds of hours in this building. It is so dark you can't tell, but the building is painted a very vivid pink. Just about everything in it is pink because the guy who founded it is, um, obsessed with the color.

This is him in the mural he commissioned to be painted in the main hall. He is the one on the bottom. In the pink toga. It is of the people who were the biggest contributers to the renovation. I would like to sing in this valley again, so I will shut up now.

After we got done we had a fabulous game of cards at Brian Joy's.

I lost. SO suprised.

TERESA was also there. She is the one with short dark hair and alluring eyes sitting next to the Big Lug (Brian). I have to point her out because she hasn't been featured here before. (Don't think I didn't notice you all looking at her with envy!!!!!!)

Brian called her a "Loralee Blog Virgin" as she has been spared the experience.

Till now....heh.

I Can't Believe I Was This Brave

I wore pants to church.

You have no idea the stones this took to do. I have thought about doing this perhaps every Sunday I have ever attended church. Well-every Sunday after the desire to twirl around in my dress to show off my ruffle-butt underwear wore off, that is.

While there is no "Rule" in the Mormon church, it really just isn't done.

My sister Linny and her partner Nancy have come to all my children's blessings in pants and I have been grateful they were there for such an important day.

From some of the looks I got, I know there are some who wouldn't think I was being brave, but brazen. I wasn't trying to make a statement, be disrespectful or even get material for my blog (Shock).

I hate dresses. They are fine for special occasions and getting costumed is the best part of a production, but for the most part they drive me more insane than I already am. I can't wear nightgowns. It is either sleep naked or wear pajamas. Only options.

Today, I was just at the end of my rope and the thought of going out into the cold in a dress/skirt just was the final straw. I am struggling to repair an almost non-existent relationship with God as it is...going back to church has not been easy (I will never understand why a measly 3 hours a week is so hard to do).

The option seriously came down to "Do I wear a skirt or go to church?"

I reflected on some conversation Jes has had on her blog about traditionalism and how ingrained it can be. Suddenly it seemed a bit ridiculous that I was seriously going to miss a chance to get some spirituality into my poor, havocked soul because of this.

I thought God would want me to show up-even in pants.

So I did.

Sweet Boy of Mine...

Saturday, February 11, 2006

Jonathan went to Salt Lake to have lunch with a bunch of his friends. Even though he was going to miss my Dad's birthday lunch, he is so good about me going with my friends and getting out (A must for my sanity) that I was glad to have him get out and play.

He knew how much my memories are bothering me lately. SO...he brought me my favorite chocolates (Truffles) from See's. I was so suprised. He is trying so hard and he deserves a rational wife. They DID cheer me up, though.

Small gesture. Immesurable impact.

The Day Bob Meandered Into A Buffet....

This is my dad. I call him Bob. That is his name, but I think I would call him Bob regardless. It fits him.
He is writing his life history and I spent a good part of the day reading it. I will say that you never really want to read the experiences of your dad having to watch a "Vivid film about Venereal Disease" in the Navy. It was right up there with his account of taking a class on Party Planning at BYU.

I actually think I got most of my features from my father. All the men who have made out with me can now wonder at their motivations because I look like a guy. Point illustrated:This was him right after basic training in "VD Central" at 17 and me last year. SEE? A guy.

A bunch of my family (Not all-Brad and my twin Loraina were missing) gathered for his 72nd Birthday. He picked "Golden Corral". I hate Buffets.

It helped when we walked in and saw THIS!!!!!!!!


Ok. Not really. It seemed like it, though!

A HUGE group of soldiers took up half the restaurant. I was speechless. Which takes a helluva lot for me.

Melanie:"How do you DO this, Loralee?"
Everywhere we have gone to eat in the last year there seems to be soldiers! I don't mind. :D

There's never been this many, though.

Rhett grabbed me and said, "No lap dancing". I think he was only half kidding.
I couldn't even take a picture...I was so awed.

My teenager-in-heat-state didn't stop me from desperately wanting one, though.

God bless my family. They tried. TWICE.

Melly tried. All the soldiers stopped, smiled and waved. She couldn't get my camera to take a pic.

NANCY tried. Same thing. They both felt like asses, and I couldn't do it to them or the guys again so...

I HAVE NO PICTURE. ----Insert Tantrum Here---- @#*)@*$(@*)#*@)($*(@)!

At least it made dinner at a buffet WAY more "DEEEE-LLLICCCIOUS!" ;)

As a final "Men in uniform" foot note: NO-my Dad in uniform does NOTHING for me. Just in case you were a sicko and wondered.


We all had a really good visit. It was good to see Linny, Nooncy and Rhett. I haven't seen them in a bit.
The only part that made me want to put a fork through my eyeball (Besides the usual stuff that makes me long for Valium at these things) was that Emma and Melly revisited the debate competition from yesterday. Do you know how freakin' sick I am of Imminent Domain???????



I guess God figures I need pay back for making people listen to me talk about my blog.

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