Friday, April 28, 2006
Worry not. No talk of periods. YAY.
Time to vote for the "Best of April"
I would really appreciate some feedback for the month. I've created a survey to make it easier with the post title and brief description to jog the memory.
Just pick five you don't think suck ass. If you want to vote for more than five, that is fine. Since ultimately the choice is mine I think the more imput the better!
Click here to take our Online Survey
Thursday, April 27, 2006
As you all know, I love to read blogs. Sometimes I find some I like through people I read, their links and their links links. You know what I mean.
Anyway, I found DRY INK and this person is intriguing me.
The first thing I noticed is that she has moved from blogger and her archives from there are labled "Before I Knew Better". That made me LAUGH as I am REALLY considering a move to my "Own Place".
She's my age (Although a lot more accomplished) 3 kids, married twice, has been through a lot (MUCH more gracefully than me)survived Katrina, funny, looks way better in a swim suit than I ever could, loves Dr. Pepper obsessively, has strangely tiny feet, is a friend of "Little Miss" who comes here sometimes, and well...her blog snapped me to attention because she had a stalker.
Not a fun, "Hi, I'm stalking Bemidji State University", I mean a real, scary stalker. Who lives in her STATE. Apparently, this guy spends hours trying to find her newest blog site and it culminated to him threatening to take action with her state licensing board (She's a counselor).
I've been looking through her archives but can't find the beginnings of the story...I am not even sure I have to, because the end seems wacked enough. You all know for me to call something wacked, it must be rather scary.
At least the crazy things I do are to people I have at least met.
And, yes... I am petty enough to let this Jenkins person make me feel a bit better about my mental state.
She's an interesting browse...
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
For my lovely friend Michelle. Brainchild of Karen, me and Brian. Executed by Karen as she is the only one to have a color printer at the moment.
CHOATE HOUSEHOLD. CONVERSATION DISCUSSED OVER 12 LAYER NACHOS:
ME: "James, why did you sleep under the table last night?"
MY SISTER MELLY EMITS A SLIGHT GIGGLE.
JAMES (TO MELLY): "Don't mock the table!"
MELLY: "I'm not mocking the table, I'm mocking you!"
JAMES: "Don't mock me, I am the King, and Kings are not mocked"
(Obviously this kid doesn't know what is going to happen if Charles ever gets crowned King)
ME: "Again. WHY did you sleep under the table?"
JAMES: "Tables good. Bed's Bad".
CHRISTOPHEE: "I won't tell you MY secret hiding place that I ALMOST actually slept in, Momma!"
JAMES: "He ended up going back into his comfy bed. He WAS going to sleep in the corner of his closet, but he decided that it wasn't comfortable and was bad for his back."
I love gardens. I suck at growing stuff.
That doesn't seem to prevent me from trying every year. I love flowers, shrubs and especially, HERBS.
I grew SIX varieties of Basil one year and they grew so poorly that I didn't even have enough for one decent batch of Pesto. SuckasuckaSUCK.
I vow this year will be different. My vows tend to have the binding power of oil and water, so we'll see.
I am also an unfortunate sucker for annuals. I try so hard every year. THINK PERENNIAL, LORALEE!
But, but, but...They are so pretty! Look at the colors! I'll only plant a few! We will see how I do as the weather gets warmer and the annual section of Lowe's gets prettier and prettier. I also always plant way too early. EVERY year.
I think it is because I am just too excited to wait. So are my kids. I always let James and Christopher pick out their own flower to tend over and water. James picked out Day lilies and Christopher got some Periwinkle Blue Bachelor Buttons. We'll see how it goes. One year, Christopher's hyacinth plant died and he was inconsolable. We literally had to have a funeral. FOR A PLANT. The things I do...
This year I have tried to keep a reign on it. Perennials and spring flowers, herbs(2 kinds of Thyme, Rosemary and Basil. Sorry, no Parsley or Sage!) and potted summer bulbs are now DONE!
I like planting pansy's in the cement cracks on the base of my stairs. SO CUTE. One year I planted lettuce too close to the stairs and the next year a head of lettuce started growing there. It was very strange, but cute in a weird way. Kind of like Cabbage Patch Kids or Pug Dogs...
I will plant more after Mother's Day (Thanks for the tip, Bridgy) but there is always a late frost in Utah, so I have to be careful.
I am trying quite a few new plants this year. I think that everything I have here *should* be ok. We'll see, though. I tend to destroy most things in my life, why should plants get any preferential treatment?!!
Fingers crossed that this blog doesn't turn into an obituary board for my poor, little plants!
After hauling James out from under the table and putting him back into bed, guess where we found him this morning?
Tuesday, April 25, 2006
Jonathan and I had guests over for some dinner and conversation.
My sister, Melly came and Brian Joy, Zac, and Bryan Woolley were in attendance.
Menu? Grilled chicken, my honey and butter carrots, salad and strawberry shortcake that, um, Zac and I REALLY liked. Either that or we both have a raging case of rabies...
Since Zac is a full-time pre-med student and also works at Lowe's starting at FOUR A.M., it was an early evening. I took Melly home, and we talked for a really long time. It was nice because I haven't talked to her in awhile. I'm worried about her, but that is a story for another day.
When I arrived home, I plugged in my camera (THANK YOU, NOONCY!) and started to "Do my thing".
As I typed away, I thought I kept hearing...well...SOMETHING. I would stop and listen.
So, I'd resume my writing. SAME THING.
At this point, I heard a definite...HISSING, or something, that in was coming from somewhere in the living room. I was NOT alone.
I decided to investigate.
I know what you are thinking. "DUDE! NEVER investigate the noise! THAT is how you always die in the films!!!! DUH!!" However, since I am not at summer camp, and am definitely NOT a virgin, I felt like it may be okay to indulge in the cliche and find out where the hell the hissing was coming from.
I found the source. My end table between my two couches (THANK YOU, LINNY and NOONCY!!!).
At this point, I wasn't sure HOW I felt. I couldn't decide if Wilbur, my cat, decided to move her brothel business into my house or if a cobra was waiting to spray my eyes with venom. I figured that I could probably handle a horny cat or two (I've dealt with Jonathan long enough!) and if it was a cobra...well...I HAVE watched several episodes of "The Crocodile Hunter" so I felt somewhat prepared.
I took a deep breath and pulled out the sofa to face my hideous foe.
James. The first snake with dimples.
Every mom should have their little boy give them a flower from the yard and ask if they can marry them someday.
So cute, I cried.
Monday, April 24, 2006
Pleasant morning, crappy evening.
Pulling teeth to get homework done, irritated momma.
Cranky children, cranky momma.
Fighting children, pissed off momma.
Bathroom floor FLOODED with bath water out of anger and resentment from my first male spawn because he doesn't think that he should have to have any hygiene regimen, MOUNT VESUVIUS MOMMA.
Game Cube REMOVED.
Children SO grounded tomorrow.
Kids sent to bed with lights OFF.
JAMES TIRADE ON THE LIGHT BEING TURNED OFF:
**Some might think I am exaggerating the following argument with James, but those who have seen my video clips will know this is fairly common in the Choate household:
"Mom! If I don't do my reading my grades will plummet."
"I guess you should have thought about that before being so difficult today and ending the evening by sending a tsunami into my bathroom and hall because you were angry."
"But if my grades fall I will have to get a job at Deseret Industries (Salvation Army) because I will have no math or reading skills, Mom!"
"Sorry, that isn't my fault. MY job is to tell you to do your homework, help if you get stuck and then look it over. YOUR job is DO YOUR HOMEWORK and turn it IN!"
"If you don't let me turn on the light to read, how CAN I do my homework? Think about this, Mom. I could end up unemployed here."
"You should have thought of that earlier, son. If you had made better choices you would be reading 'Calvin and Hobbes' to Christopher right now. As it is, the light is off and you won't get reading credit tomorrow. You need to think about stuff like that before you act! It is called 'BEING RESPONSIBLE'"
"But, Mom! I don't DO 'Responsible'!"
I think I need a lobotomy...
I love massages.
Let me repeat that.
I started receiving them on a fairly regular basis after being trampled by a horse in high school. Between that and some car accidents, I have a fairly messed up back/neck that really requires it a lot of the time.
I think that massage therapy is better than any drug, and almost any treatment. I always feel so much better after receiving one.
I am also a "Hard Touch" sort of girl. Basically, you could use a jack hammer on me and I'd say, "Could you put a little more pressure on with your elbow, please?"
I love the dim lighting, the candles, the scented oil, the relaxing music, ALL OF IT.
I picked my current massage therapist because she is in the office of the chiropractor who has been treating me since 1995 (Dr. Carelson. He is awesome).
"So, Loralee. What are we in for today? Stress?"
"Ah. Are you afraid of that like waterskiing, then?"
"I can't believe you remember that, Heather!"
"You are a hard person to forget, Loralee."
I originally went into Heather after a shoulder injury I aquired while conquring my fear of waterskiing. It was when Matthew was still alive and Max and Bridgy invited us to go out on their boat.
The water was murky, and murky water scares me more than non-murky water for some reason.
Max said, "Hey, you wanna ski?"
I am VERY afraid of the water. Not tubs or pools...lakes and oceans. I fear what is in and underneath them. ICK.
I do like boating and wave running, though.
Waterskiing would require me to actually GET IN the murky water before I could get on TOP of it.
However, I have this thing of deliberately doing what scares me, so...
"Sure, why the hell not?"
Since I had never water skied everyone thought that I wouldn't be able to get up, so it was decided I would go first, since it would be short.
Jonathan got into the water with me because I was terrified. Picture trying to give a cat a bath. A ferral cat with long claws. Poor, Jon.
After calming me down, giving some instruction and helping me with my ski's, I asked Jon if he wanted to get back in the boat before I left. He said he would just hang out in the water for a bit until I was done and then he'd go.
Jon signaled Max to take off.
Um. I got up n' stuff.
SO COOL! Getting up on my first time. SWEET! I was having a fabulous time. Then my arms started getting tired and the thought occurred to me. "Uh. No one told me how to STOP and get off!"
I had no clue. All I could picture was face planting at terrific speed into this gross, murky water with no Jonathan to help me not freak out. EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!
So, I just hung on.
Max kept motioning for me to let go.
He tried to make me fall by swerving me over the wakes. Problem? I used to be a rather accomplished snow-skier who loved to do moguls. I know how to bounce and bend and well...it didn't work.
Finally after SEVEN MILES, my arms literally gave out.
I sank into the water.
THAT WAS IT????
Dude! If someone told me that was all that would have happened, I would have stopped before doing serious injury to my right shoulder (Which was why I first went into my massage therapist, Heather!). It also would have meant that Jonathan wouldn't have been left to tread water for 40 minutes.
My shoulder still gets reinjured from time to time and I have to baby it. Heather said it wasn't in great shape today.
She also recommended a pre-stupidity massage to help reduce the trauma of the post-stupidity massage.
Maybe one day I'll take advice when it is given to me. It certainly would have stopped some stupid and horrible things in my life.
Then again, it would have stopped some freaking cool ones too.
I also wouldn't trade the experiences of either kind.
I'll just keep plowing along the best I can, thanks!
I think I re-injured my toe, and my ass hurts.
Still worth it.
Saturday, April 22, 2006
Mary Ellen's son, Traves (I didn't get a pic of him on my camera) came along to cheer on his mom, and BRIAN JOY came as well! He is such a freaking awesome friend. Zac wanted to come on this adventure, but his car is having issues and he just couldn't do it. If I had used any of the brain cells God gave me, I would have invited him to come along anyway, but I suck. He called and wished me luck while I was in the hanger. I have mentioned that I want to take him home in my purse, right?
The contract scared me n' stuff...
I signed it anyway. I wore Cassandra's earrings as a good luck charm, but bling is outlawed. Something about wanting to keep your earlobes intact...
My jumpsuit was 'Bug Orange'. It reminded me of Matthew. It made me braver, I think.
I was first ON, so I was last OFF! Lots of time to freak out.
Man. That was so damn, damn, DAMN frightening, cool, awesome, COLD (So cold that my teeth are still sensitive cause I couldn't stop grinning!). Jumping out of that plane was one of the scariest, most exhilarating things I have ever, ever accomplished. WHOO HOO!
Friday, April 21, 2006
The last few days have sucked fairly large (See previous post). Actually, that was just an exacerbating factor. Just crazy and emotional and BUSY.
I went to dinner with Brian Joy and Karen to a lovely Mexican restaurant that let you draw on the tables.The following is mainly
She drew pornographic stick figures of me and Brian. Yes, that is supposed to be me with ginormous boobs...I thought Alex could use it as a contribution to his daily internet porn. Wink. She also prints like a dyslexic Kindergartener when writing upside down.
I got her back, though... Brian's place setting was even funnier, but it turned out too blurry to print, dang it.
It was definitely my kind of evening.
Christophee is sleeping over at the Grandparents With White Hair (Mine).
He LOVES wearing my favorite pink flannel, ducky pajamas.
He's sleeping over because I AM GOING SKYDIVING TOMORROW.
I'll let you know if I die.
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Karen and I had a fantabulous evening. I have wanted to make one of these for about forever. Well, ever since seeing "Waiting for Guffman". If you haven't seen this movie (And have an interest in mocking community theater or are into Mockumentaries) RENT IT.
It took us 4 stores before we found a blank, metal lunch box at 'Michaels'. After much toil and searching for the right picture to print off, we were ready to construct our lunch box! Hooray!
Everything went swimmingly. Except that when we picked up dinner, the lid to my Diet Coke was loose and It got everywhere. Oh, yah...when I opened up the bottle of black acrylic paint I used my teeth to take off the protective seal. I wouldn't recommend it or you will end up looking like me...kinda like a tweeker that just went dumpster diving for dinner.
Other than THAT it was great. I wish Michelle (Who helped come up with the idea) could have been at girlfriend night, but she is gone due to family tragedy.
I think I may have to keep this myself because it is the coolest thing I have ever made. I'll probably cave and still give it to Brian Joy because frankly, it is the most suitable lunch box ever made for him.
I think the next craft project will be the "My Dinner With Andre", action figure set...
I have a craft project in mind for tonight. It is actually going to be one of the finer moments of hilarity on this blog.
Karen, shall be my accomplice (You just don't know it yet!)
What ever could Loralee Choate be up to???!!!!
Tune in later to find out...
Hee hee hee
YAHOO!!! Higher, Higher, Higher!!!!! I LOVE ERASURE.
They are coming to SLC on May 15th, and it is my Mother's Day gift from Jonathan (It's too expensive for us both to go, so he said to go with friends. I FREAKING LOVE HIM)
In the Ship of Fools will be Brian Joy (Who had a rag doll when he was just a little girl), Karen (Who needs "Oh, Lamour") and Zach (WHO HAS NEVER BEEN TO A CONCERT IN HIS LIFE! I guess this means that he was the baby of the class, ya know? He really didn't know that one and one were two, two and two were four...)
At least none of them will ever be able to say "Where was I when they needed a friend"!
I AM SO FREAKING EXCITED!!!!!!
Now I just need to see Barry Manilow, Neil Diamond and PRAY that Oingo Boingo gets back together.
Ok. Feel free to mock my musical tastes. It happens all the time!
Though, really...Who Needs Love Like That?!
I need to stop. I can't help myself!
Monday, April 17, 2006
If you had asked me 2 years ago what my favorite book was, I would have looked at you and said, "Yah...that is like asking me to pick out my favorite piece of sand on this beach, you moron. Next question, please."
If you can believe it, I now have a very favorite book.
My friend, Michelle, gave me this book to read and I thought that any 28-year-old who is not only writing his memories, but has the balls to title it that, was worth a read.
I fell in love with it.
In fact, I think I have purchased and given away about 10 of them. I knew I shoudn't have given my last copy away.
HBWOSG was a runner-up for the Pulitzer and won numerous awards.
Here is what wikipedia has to say about it:
In Chicago, Illinois, Dave Eggers and his siblings, Bill, Beth and Toph (who is 13 years younger than his next-eldest sibling, Dave) endure the sudden death of their father due to lung cancer. Thirty-two days later, their mother dies from stomach cancer after a long struggle.
Afterwards, Dave, Beth and Toph (of whom Dave is now legal guardian) move to Berkeley. Dave and his friends organize an independent magazine called Might in San Francisco and become engrossed in the Generation X culture. Dave also auditions for MTV's The Real World.
Conflicts in the memoir center around Dave's struggle between his responsibilities as Toph's guardian and his desire to enjoy his 20s, as well as the specter of guilt and sadness following his parents' deaths.
There are such sad, moving moments in this book, but there is also LIFE, and HUMOR!
Honestly, I think that one of the reasons that I love it so much is that this guy seems to write the way that I think. Not so much in his ideals and belief system, per sae...just random. Like me.
He will be talking about something and then a sentence like this jumps out at you, for no apparent reason.
"This is a drawing of a stapler."
This book is so moving, deep and hysterical from the very first page (He puts a Kinsey Scale on the library of congress page for Pete's Sake. He is a "3" by the way) until the very last page.
I love the descriptions from him raising his brother, Toph, to the scam to have Nicholas from "Eight is Enough" fake his own death, to the diagrams of their apartment so Dave and Toph would get maximum sock-slide-length.
I think, though, the thing that stole my heart was the break down expenditure sheet from his $100,000 advance for the book, like cost of paper, agent cut, new computer, $14.32 Original Xanadu Motion Picture Soundtrack!!!!.
I think I may have pee'd myself a little.
I had also lost Matthew shortly before and his descriptions of death and funerals really hit home with me. We are in a tighter community than they were, so I did not feel as isolated, but death is death.
I just admire his outlook on life.
If you don't mind swearing (Which he does A LOT) read this. I bet most of the Englishies here already have, but still...
It is my favorite.
My friend, Michelle, had a sad loss in her extended family.
Her ten-year-old neice, Alexandra, was killed in a car accident along with the girl's grandmother.
Her other niece, Natasha was driving the van. The girl's mother, Shannon(Michelle's Sister-in-Law), was also in the accident and suffered injury. Shannon has lost her mother, and her daughter, and has to find a way to help her other daughter, who was driving, cope with it all. Her husband(Michelle's brother Daryl, who I am very fond of) was following in the car behind and saw the whole thing.
It is just so sad. Natasha is a very sweet and responsible girl. She was just an inexperienced driver on wet roads. It is going to be hell for all of them.
For those who pray, please remember them in your prayers. For those who don't, a moment of thought would be appreciated.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
BUSY, LONG DAY.
Jonathan and I always get Pimped Out (As I like to call it) big time at Christmas and Easter to go sing places. It is much worse when BOTH mothers are congregation Choir Directors. Thus, we ran around a lot today.
We did a lovely little duet, though. I love singing with Jon. He has a very nice Bass voice (We met in Choir...Sad, isn't it?) Maybe one day he'll let me post a clip of HIM.
Then, I drove 2 hours to go to my brother, Rhett's. It was just my brothers and me (Jonathan had a HUGE project at work that had to be done my tomorrow morning). We had all our kids, but most of my siblings were with other family or sipping down fruity drinks next to a pool in Las Vegas because they don't love me anymore. (I'm KIDDING, NOONCY. You don't have to buy me anymore batteries! ;D)
Rhett lives north of Provo. The drive SUCKS, but I LOVE going to Rhett's. Especially when food is involved. The only thing better than Rhett's AMAZING standing Rib Roast, is getting to cook and eat, Rhett's Standing Rib Roast with my family. We ate, hung out, ate some more, watched "Hildalgo" and ate some more. Very satisfying.
I love hanging and talking with my brothers and their spouses.
For some reason though, my brother's think I am strange that I had a crush on "Robin Hood" from the Disney movie when I was about 6.
So what if he's an animated fox?
I guess there never HAS been a great deal of rational when it comes to my taste in men.
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Here is a fun little thing I did to pass the time at work today.
Go to GOOGLE (My search engine of choice).
Type in your name followed by NEEDS in quotations.
Here is what pulled up for me:
Sometimes Loralee needs repetitive reminding about things...
Also, Loralee needs more levels before she can become useful on this fight...
Loralee needs to be fired...
And perhaps my favorite:
Loralee needs Jailbreak.
I found this sweet letter in my inbox this morning and I wanted to share. I have lovely friends.
I have finally entered the world of blogging! Real blogging, not just handwritten (though I will still do that too). Keeping a blog, as well as posting to flickr, is a requirement for my semester abroad. But I'm taking your lead and starting now. I'll be spending May and June doing an internship at an architectural firm in SLC, which will be an adventure in itself.
You can readabout it at . . .http://adventuresindesign.blogspot.com/
Reading your blog the past few months has been an adventure as well. I've heard most of the stories, minus the recent Adam stuff, but never in as much detail.You write beautifully and expressively.
When you broach the twin subject tell about the year your parents forgot your birthday but not Loraina's! I feel bad we haven't seen each other in a while. I hope you know how much I respect andadmire you. Nothing you do, or think you could do, will ever change that. We need to get together as soon as I finish up finals. I have a cell phone now too. My number is... (LIKE I'm going to put that here...Holly would proabably get prank calls from Alex!)
Call me any time. Have a happy easter with your adorable family. I look forward to reading aboutit!
That is so sweet, Holly. I would love to get together whenever you are free. You are MUCH busier than I am! I DO know we have to have a bonvoyage party before you go abroad!
I am putting up your link in my side bar (Even though I SUCK at html and always want to suck down a couple of bottles of Jack Daniels afterward to forget the experience!)
Friday, April 14, 2006
Zac, who I love and want to take home in my purse, came over for dinner with Brian Joy. We had fabulous chicken, Zac made DIVINE asparagus, bread and Strawberry Shortcake. YUM.
Jonathan, Brian and Zac had loads of fun putting their pictures into myheritage.com. (Jonathan scored the win with 64% Mother Theresa)
Then we spent a lovely couple of hours curled up on the sofa watching the beginning of Season 2 of Dead Like Me (WHICH YOU HAVE TO WATCH IF YOU HAVEN'T. Funniest Series ever written)
I received this email yesterday from my Zac...
I have a funny story for you. I was sitting in the BNR (Biology and Natural Resources Building) waiting for my class to start when my study partner shannon came over and sat next to me, we started talking and I told her how I had been laughing about you stalking some school in Minnesota, well turns out she's from there, not only that Bemindji University,or whatever the hell it's called, is like around the corner from her house, here sister goes there, and I think she even attended there,I found it quite funny. She thought it was hilarious as well. Small world, eh!? See you later tonight, cutie.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
I am not really a fan of writing about/talking about,bodily functions, toilets, bathrooms, etc.
I had to be at work at 8 am this morning. I was really tired (We did a lot of yard work yesterday). I wasn't really thinking clearly.
My boss, Ilene, is the queen of high-tech gadgets. She has SIX 21" flatscreen monitors on her huge desk. She also has this super cool toilet that is capable of doing many cool things that I really hadn't paid attention to until this morning. All I really noticed is that the seat is kept electronically warm, which is nice when you work in a chilly place and you feel cold all the time.
I was feeling super sleepy this morning, but Ilene's handy-dandy toilet ala-Jetsons fixed that up in a Jiffy!
How, you ask?!
I still have a hard time putting pressure on my broken toes, I didn't think and grabbed the handle to shift my weight.
Kick on Beday Function.
Kick up Pressure.
Kick DOWN TEMPERATURE!
Kick on Howling Shriek?
Oh, yes, SIR!
Very interesting way to wake yourself up, I really must say...
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Spring gardening has begun! My mother KILLED my lawn with round up last year (LONG story) and we are going to have to reseed it all. I am also in the process of turning over and clearing out flower beds and potting my herbs and bulbs this week.
I'll let you know how it goes as progress occurs.
Gardening in our climate and elevation can be quite tricky.
Projects We Want To Accomplish This Year:
New front lawn
Pebble, bark and finish planting around the maple
Plant another tree.
Plant Garden Boxes and do weed control
We'll see how much we can get done. At least the stairs, painting and railing got done last year.
Maybe if it looks good enough and I get all my shutters up, I'll give you a photo tour of my tiny, little house.