Younger Brother, World's largest snitch!
Thursday, October 14, 2010
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My husband and I are big on trust with our children. We have been talking about it to them since they were little. When they are caught lying or when they make poor choices, they know that along with a consequence we let them know that it hurt our trust with them. We have also made it clear that the amount of freedom we allow them as teenagers will not depend on their ages, but on our level of trust with them.
We gave my 14-year-old his first cellphone last year. His 11-year-old brother is currently trying very hard to prove to us that he is responsible enough to have a phone soon. He is not quite there with us yet. I honestly thought 13 was too young for our son to have a cell phone but he had legitimate need for it as he travels by bus to get to his father's house for visitation and to wrestling practice and we need to be able to reach him.
When we got it for him we told him that how he handles the use of his phone will be a huge chance to show us how responsible (or not) that he is. We also reminded him that it would behoove him to be as responsible as possible when it comes to his phone because 16 is not too far off for him. Turning 16 may mean that they have the legal right to drive, it does NOT mean that they automatically get the RIGHT to drive.
And if he cannot be responsible with a cell phone, I told him his father and I would have major doubts about trusting him with a car. And we would have an even harder time trusting him with a cellphone IN a car. We've had the "texting and driving" talk. He's a few years off from it, but I figure it can't hurt, right? Since more and more studies seem to show that teens don't equate texting in the same realm as driving under the influence (and since it is a much more socially acceptable thing and habit than teen drinking might be), we repeatedly tell our kids that texting and driving impairs you as much as driving under the influence or sleepy driving.
We are also training his younger brother to be the world's largest snitch.
My kids already know that texting and driving will result in huge consequences. Huge consequences meaning they will not have the privilege of using phone nor car if they do it. And they may be locked in a tower until they turn 40*. It may sound strict and mean and horrible to them, but I am ok with that as long as my kids stay alive and in one piece.
How do YOU handle teen texting and driving? I'd love to know. Not only will it be a great conversation butDoSomething.org (an organization that uses "the power of online to get teens to do good stuff offline") will receive a $.50 donation for each comment on this post up to a total of $5,000, so I hope you will join in and comment your heads off, peeps!
*The tower thing is probably negotiable. Maybe.
Visit LG Text Ed and read tips from Dr. Joel Haber on how to teach our teens to turn off their mobile phones before they start their car. You can also watch Emmy award winning actress, Jane Lynch, as she teaches parents how to talk to their teens about the dangers of texting while driving.
DoSomething.org is one of the largest organizations in the US that helps young people rock causes they care about. $0.50 donation per comment on any "LG Text Ed - Moms Discuss Teens and Texting" post, up to $5000 total.
8 Comments :
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At 8:48 PM ,
Screaming Grasshopper said...
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At 1:52 PM ,
Alex@LateEnough said...
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I have a another year or so before it's our reality. But here using a hand-held cell phone is against the law. They even went so far as to specify that engaging in text messaging while driving is prohibited. And yet it's amazing how many people still do it.
To me, it takes a special level of stupidity to text and drive (my apologies to those I offend but ... it doesn't change the way I see it). Although it's true I've been tempted on more than one occasion to make a call while driving (and occasionally may have even succumbed to temptation), I can't even imagine where a person's head is at to text and drive at the same time.
My kid just got her first phone a month ago. The ONLY reason she wants it is to text. She will be 15 in March. I have already had to put in qutie a few limits because it seems like it could easily take over her life.
The day she texts and drives will be the day she loses the phone AND the car. For a long, long time. Because exactly like you said, it is about trust. And she will know I am serious. Period. -
At 4:59 PM ,
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My kids know they are not to text and drive, and yet, we recently caught one of them at it. She's almost 20, but she lost her phone. I'd rather she not have a phone, than not have her life. So stupid. Ahhh. It took a while for her to get it back, and I really hope she learned her lesson. She was told, one more time, and she has to purchase her own plan, we won't supply her with a phone anymore. Just the way it has to be.